历史重演

应该没有人再会来看这个部落格吧。

那也好。

我好不开心，真的好不开心。

眼泪一直一直的流，留下了两道咸咸的泪痕。

我突然什么心情都没了。

一整天愉快的心情也都突然蒸发了。

好希望赶快的独立。

或许有一天，我终于有机会过我想过的生活也不定。

俏丽，快睡吧。

眼泪，始终还是陪你入睡的良伴。

Emo

Emo post. Just leave.



Emo-ing now. Funny how my mood can change within seconds. Why am I so weak? Why do I keep getting affected by these things over and over again? Everytime, it's the same old thing. Yet, I am unable to control myself. I hate this feeling! My insides are squished to the extent of making breathing seems like a chore. I hate myself. *slitswrist*

It's just a stupid thing! Get over it already stupid girl. Get over it!! Forget it. I wish I could. Why does it bother me so much anyway? It's not like I didn't know it before. It's just that when I see it out in the open, it still bothers me so much that I feel like a total complete loser. Argh...perhaps carbon monoxide would really help solve my crappy problems once and for all. Gawd I hate my life.

Why the fuck did I get involved in this mess in the first place. Fuck it all. I need a hug. Maybe I should just go die instead. Whatever.

I don't give a damn

You know what? I think I'm sick of him already. Yea, again.

Really sick of him. Out of sight, out of mind. Good riddance.






`

Me

Note: All images taken from Stickgirl's blog.



Fell in love



He has a girlfriend



Hug



Just friends



A fool

Goodbye second semester~

Finally. Finally. Finally.
I'm done with my finals!!! Yes you heard right, I'm officially FREE from the clutches of studies for three whole weeks! =D

Had my last paper today. Well, Management was actually quite okay compared to that nightmarish Marketing. Hopefully I'll be able to score for this paper. If not my efforts of waking up at 8am to study will be all wasted. ): Now I can only cross my fingers and hope my CGPA would be higher than 3 this semester. Pressure pressure!!

Ahh...holiday. What a lovely word. Except that I do not have much plans...yet. I don't wanna spend my semester break rotting at home! Think I'm gonna use up all my money during my three weeks break for shopping though. >.> *cough*

Oh and by the way, for those of you who enjoys a good read, you should consider getting this book. It's a psychological thriller. One of the better books I've read in recent times. This seriously rocks! Go buy it!!




Edit:

GOSH! I'm so pissed right now. Went blog hopping to check out my fellow bloggers' posts just now and guess what I saw when I went over to Unstable's blog?

Not sure if you people noticed, but a few days ago there was a sick ass who spammed my chatbox with all sorts of pornographic nonsense. So I blocked his IP address and banned him from posting in my chatbox. So, problem solved. Or so I thought.

Little did I know, THE FUCKER WENT TO OTHER BLOG TO SPAM NONSENSE!! Now you might think that that is none of my business. Normally, yes. But NO! This retarded spastic fucking son of a bitch spammed Unstable's chatbox using my name! He pretended to be me! WTF???

I would like to clarify that the sicko who spammed your chatbox was NOT me. I'm really sorry about this Unstable. And uh...would you kindly remove the sickass' messages from your chatbox? And banning the user's IP address might be a good thing to do as well. Paiseh!

Take a hint, will you?

Note: Pointless rant ahead. Proceed at your own risk.


Sometimes, it amazes me to see just how stupid a person can get. There is this guy, let's call him B, he was my senior in secondary school but I never really noticed him as we have totally nothing in common. Even back then, I never really liked him as he has a reputation of always trying to hook up with pretty girls. He would go after one of them, and after being rejected, he would target another one the very next day. And he wasn't even good looking. At all.

So fast forward to after I graduate from secondary school, somehow this guy got hold of my number and started sms-ing me and called me even though I told him I don't like people calling me on the phone. Being the nice person I am, I replied his smses although I don't even like him, not even as a friend. Then after sometime, I got sick of him and stopped replying his smses or phone calls. The calls stopped after awhile. (If you really must know, he started hitting on me even though I told him I was attached. And he would try to ask me out again and again. Not that I went anyway. So I got really annoyed and decided to get him out of my life.)

Just when I had erased this person from my memory, I had the misfortune of bumping into him in a mall late last year. I mumbled some excuse that I lost my phone and ran off as fast as I could. The bastard had the nerve to call my phone afterwards with a different number! I answered it and once I knew it was him. I immediately hung up. And ignored his smses.

Now, a normal sane person would've taken the not-so-subtle hint and stop harassing me right? NO! Months after that fateful incident, I'd completely forgotten about his existence. Again. Til he called me again last night. With yet another different number! WTF? I stupidly answered yes when he said my name. Then he told me who he is. Gosh...I hung up on him after mumbling something incoherent. But the fucker is obviously so thick-skinned that he sent me another message, saying he just wanna make sure I was still using the same number wtf. When I didn't reply, he had the nerve to call again! Goodness, he is the most most most thick-skin person I've ever met in my entire life. WHY ON EARTH CAN'T YOU TAKE THE HINT? I do not want to hear from you or keep in touch with you at all!

He's like a stupid boomerang that keeps coming back no matter how many times you toss it away. I freaking hate this kind of people. Stupid stupid stupid. Now my mood is ruined. All thanks to the fucking asshole. Argh!

Okay, enough about the asshole. Had my Writing for Business paper today. Tougher than I thought. I almost missed out the last section because I didn't flip the page. -_-'' Now I just hope I wouldn't make too much careless mistakes. This is one of the papers that I'm aiming to score for. Since I wouldn't be able to score for my Marketing exam which falls on Monday. T_T

Oh, and I just got my license. HAHAHA...Beware people! Yes it looks fugly, but that's not the point. The point is, I can drive legally now! xD

Apparently they can't read.

[rant]
Le-sigh. I've sort of half given up on my Friendster already. Too freaking lazy to maintain it. One of the main reason is that there seems to be less and less intelligent lifeforms on Friendster nowadays.

Okay, so let's review some of the idiotic things that people do on Friendster these days. Yes yes, the topic has been discussed to death. But those people never cease to exist. And they piss me off.

1. Everyday I'd get some friend request from some guy who has like about 700 other chicks in his friends list, with loads of comments ddat l00kss lYkk dhhissh. It hurts my eyes just trying to see what on earth are they typing. Worse if the guy who added me also types in the same way. It's bad enough a girl types like a complete retard. When a guy does it, it's even more disgusting. Ugh...

2. Then there are those idiots that spam your inbox with nonsense. They'd send like 10 messages a day which contains some link to some websites with some boring nonsensical contents. FYI, I do not even bother to visit those links. My mouse automatically clicks on the delete button on its own whenever I see such messages omfg. I have no control over it at all!

3. These are the kind of retards that either never went to school or dropped out of kindergarten.
I mean come on...don't people bother to read anymore? I even got rid of my long ass self-biography and typed a measly 50 words in the About me section for the benefits of those illiterate retards. Still, they chose to ignore it and continue to act like a tard.

Just to let you know, I do not reply messages. Unless you've something interesting to say. If you wanna ask for permission to add me, don't bother messaging me. I'd rather you just add.

This is what I wrote on my profile. But there'd still be retards who floods my inbox with crap. Which are of course, ignored.

Subject:	hihi
Message:	can addd u?wat u email add?

My email is in my profile, retard.

Subject:	<<>>
Message:	can be a friend? if can pls reply me wating for u reply o>>>>>

Learn to read? Perhaps?

Subject:	hi
Message:	can i add u as fren

Morons.


There, I finally replied. Happy now?

4. And then there are those that locks their profile. How on earth am I supposed to know who the heck is he when the profile is restricted to the people in his friends list only?! Great, fantastic, fabulous. You want to add me yet I don't know who are you. If I wanna see, I'd have to approve first. dash underscore dash

5. The spammers. Spam spam and spam. And those stupid chain letters. If those things were real I would've died a thousand times already. Maybe even more. Gosh how can people be so stupid as to really believe those rubbish. And no, Friendster is not going to shut down just because you don't forward the spam that supposedly came from the manager of Friendster.



I could have gone on forever, but just in case you guys die of boredom, I shall stop here. Now WHERE on earth is my driving license?!

[/rant]

kthxbai.

D-saster

Note: Try typing "=rand (200,99)" in Microsoft word. Minus the quote marks. Kewl trick.


I don't think I can pass my driving test. I suck. Big time. Argh! Why the fuck do we have to learn manual gear anyway if I'm going to be driving an auto car once I get my license? This is just so paradoxical. And fuck those people who honk like nobody's business. Cannot see the 'L' sign isit?? Blardy Idiots.

Excuse me for my emo-ness these days. I get stressed out whenever my exams are getting near. In this case, Monday. Crap. I'm so dead. Ugh...cheer me up anyone?

Biatch

昨天淋了一场雨。
感觉，好舒服，好快乐...
好像所有的烦恼都可以被雨水冲走似的...
要不是待会还要上课的话，我真的很想就这样站在雨中，
把所有的不愉快都冲走...
可是，人生往往就不能如我所愿。

真的很讨厌很讨厌某种人...
那种，表面看来很好的人，看来很信得过，
在你面前永远都是个好人，
但当你转过身的时候，他却把你给背叛了...

曾经，我也遇过这样的人。
她，让我对这世界多了点提防，多了点怀疑，多了点保留，
也让我的眼光看得更宽，思想变得更成熟。
我很清楚被人背叛的滋味。
真的一点都不好受...
所以，我能了解给人背叛的那种痛。

当你把你心里的秘密都告诉给那个人听，
把信任都放在他身上的时候，
他，却背叛了你。
说真的，我真的很讨厌。
我，不是在帮任何人，
只是觉得这种行为很卑鄙，很无良...
信不信，
接受不接受我的看法，
由得你。

Untitled

Was feeling really down. Wondered if she did the right thing. Then, she went over to his profile and saw the 'reason' why she did all this. It suddenly reminded her why should she do this even though it hurts her inside.

She can't be with someone like this. One moment he says this to her, next moment, he might just turned his back on her and says exactly the same thing to the other person. You have no idea how much it sucks seeing that kinda thing. To her, I love you is a very special thing. It can't be said to two different people at the same time. It's supposed to be one and only. So she made up her mind, it's time to let go and move on with her life.

She can't do anything now since the damage is already done. For now, it's either friends, or strangers. It's really up to him. She is also tired. And she doesn't wanna see the other person's picture and feels as if someone is squeezing the air out of her again. It's really too much for her to handle. She fears a breakdown will happen.

For now, she's contented to live in her own carefully protected bubble and forget about all the rubbish that happened. That is, until someone comes along and burst that bubble. Then you shall see the 'tough as nail' her breakdown.

Hah...how interesting that would be.

痛

亲手毁掉的友情，真的很痛，很痛。
我这次，好像是做错了。
伤得某个人很重。
其实，心里一点都不好过...
表面看来，我好像一点都没事，比起他，我看来好像没什么两样。
死撑，真的就是我的强项。
心里虽然很难过，很辛苦，可是表面上，我和平时也没什不一样。
他，选择了连朋友都不可以做的地步。
而我，却在原地不知所措。
很辛苦，很辛苦。

Confession

Note: As promised, I'll post my bikini photo tomorrow night. It will only be up for an hour before I take it down. So if you wanna see, try viewing my blog between 9-10pm tomorrow night.



I have a confession to make.


I'm upset.


Of myself. Of him. Of everything that happened between us.


I should never never have let what happened between us happen.


Can you let me go? Please? And go back to whoever that your heart belongs to.


I hate myself. And you probably should, too.

Incompetent

Finally, I can breathe again! I've handed in the darned Web Page Design Assignment last Friday and sat for the equally darned Web Page Design test on Saturday. Now I'm free as a bird~! Well, not quite, considering that I still have to edit the Writing for Business assignment and do my news report for Writing for Mass Communication...Oh well, that aside, I can finally afford to slack again. At least for a little while more before my other assignments and tests start to overwhelm me again.

After 2 long weeks, my lazy ass instructor finally arranged a lesson again. I'm supposed to leave at 3pm later for my second driving lesson(Yes I'm slow, shut it). I'd surprise myself if I could still remember how to drive at all. My perfect memory and all. Sigh. Shall update on the lesson later if I managed to come back in one piece. Ah...and Poh Nee passed her driving test this week, now she can drive legally! Grats girl! (Yes I know I'm slow dammit)

On a different note, I managed to take a peek at my phone bills today (it's a long story). For those of you who didn't know, I'm quite 'fortunate' in a sense that I do not have to worry about my phone running out of credits since mine is a postpaid line. The reason I put the inverted comma is because my phone line is under my mom. And she pays the bills. Which means she has full view of my bills. I do not have access to it. Though I would certainly wanna know how much I spend each month, I certainly wouldn't wanna talk about my bills in front of my mom lest she asks me to pay for them myself. -_-"

So, anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I sms a lot compared to making phone calls since I prefer expressing myself through words. And I wouldn't know how much I spend each month on my phone bill since I don't have access to it. That means I might will sms a lil too much, sometimes. And my mom will threaten me with my bills. T_T

Therefore, I hereby beg all my lovely friends, change to Maxis please~ *big wet eyes* @.@ You see, they charge me 1cent for each sms sent to a Maxis number. But 15cents when it is sent to another network operator's number. I could sent 15 blardy smses to a Maxis number for that price. Call me stingy. Whatever.





Update: I suck. Big time. I hate parking. =.- And my arm hurts from all that steering. And I get nervous when cars zoom past me. And I love the divider, so much that I keep veering towards it. Did I mention I suck?

I can't take it anymore...

I'm dying. I need sleep. I'm suffering. I'm having mild dehydration. My eyes hurt. I'm bone tired. I'm whiny. I need my bed. I need 12 hours of sleep. My class is in less than 7 hours time. *whimpers*


I hate web page design!!!


Great, now I've contracted conjunctivitis. T_T

ARGH!

I need a break!!

Short note:
Here's something for you to try. It's one of the strangest things I have ever encountered.
Left brain, right brain trick.
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it!!




I need a break. A vacation. To get away from my life for a little while. Things has been so busy I can hardly even breathe... Assignments deadlines are fast approaching, tons of tutorial works to do, notes to read, tests to be taken... I feel suffocated. Yet, I can't seem to stop myself from procrastinating.

Got back almost all my mid-term test results except for Sociology (which I'll probably flunk...oh whatever...) and Writing for Mass Comm. True enough, my prediction about my Marketing result came true. I ALMOST flunk the stupid subject. Urgh...see? The consequences of procrastination. I knew perfectly well that I shouldn't be wasting time and doing nonsense but somehow the idea of studying just doesn't appeal to me. I only can do well in subjects that I do not need to study for, subjects which requires more common knowledge than technical and theoretical knowledge. In other words, I'm just plain lazy to study. Is there a cure for laziness? Because if there is, I'd very much like to know about it.

But I digress. I seriously think I need a break. Life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses recently. Not that it has ever been a bed of roses anyway. I want to get away from it all. Cut myself some slack. I've been slaving over my 'group' assignments till I almost forgot they were supposed to be 'group' assignments. And I haven't been myself lately. I'm operating on only a few hours of sleep every single night...and everyone knows if I do not get my 8 hours every night I'll be like a zombie. My fuse also tends to blow more easily. I get easily irritated when people say stupid lame things, I get irritated when people do not use their brain when they do or say something. I just do not feel like putting on a mask and pretending to be patient and kind or whatever when they pisses me off. For goodness sake, use the fking BRAIN!

Then there's the driving school stuff. Turns out the idiot didn't lose my photo afterall. I went and spent another RM12 to take my license photo and when I went to the office to pass it to him, I asked him to double check the computer. Woe and behold! My pretty face is staring back at me from the computer screen. WTF. Wasted my money and he didn't even bother to refund me the RM10 I gave him. Now I have a bunch of fugly license photo sitting on my table. Great. Just great.

Sigh...my friend called last night and told me they're planning a trip to Redang island next next week. I missed Redang so so much! Haven't been there for so long and I'm dying to go again. And I've missed my friends too. Problem is, it's kinda last minute since I have to confirm almost immediately last night and they're going on weekdays, which means I'll have to skip 3 days of classes. Doubt my parents will be very happy about that. So, sigh, probably won't be going. =(

Oh by the way, I need a new phone. My current one's like crap. Preferably Sony Ericsson. So, any kind souls out there would like to recommend me a nice one? Budget's only aroung 1k though...dead broke. Sigh...

20072007

I just woke up. At 11pm. No thanks to a certain someone who woke me up to go yam cha >.> I think I haven't slept like this in a long time.Went to take my nap at around 2pm...ended up... -.-''
Nevermind! I have a mission tonight anyway. I have to teman a nicie since he very nice promise to get me a certain book that I wanted =D Thanks nicie!!

Had a really long night the day before. I actually stayed up until 4am doing the freaking mass comm assignment. Swt...And I CAN'T STAND the fella anymore! I swear, in my 11 years of education I've NEVER EVER saw a lecturer who ask the student to stop the presentation half way just because HE said there wasn't enough time. And it was already the last slide. Ridiculous I tell you. And while he "listen" to our presentation, he sat in his seat like some spineless person who couldn't care less about what the presenters are speaking. This guy is utter nonsense. Grr... Did I tell you I can't stand lecturers who uses Manglish when they teach? Well, now you know.

Withdrawal Symptoms

I'm still sick. Fever's gone, but still feeling like I'm in hell. One of my friend asked me why did I blogged in Mandarin, "I can't understand Mandarin, so how am I supposed to know what happen to you?" Sorry...I usually blog in Mandarin when I'm feeling a tad emo. =p

So anyway, missed another day of class today. Just wasn't up to waking up at 6+ in the morning to get to class. Plus! I have the mother of all backaches...it's still hurting now! From the time I woke till now... -__-" That's what you get for spending too much time lying in bed. (I was sick since Saturday, so you do the Maths...)

Had a lousy dinner again, as usual. Spend my entire day rotting/gaming/blog reading/chatting/smsing while tomorrow is my Writing for Business mid-term exam. Yea...smarty-skirt aint I? Lols...Now I'm having serious PWS. Serious sh!t...Pasta withdrawal symptoms. Noooo... T_T




Drooling yet? I know you are~

病了

今天我又翘课了...昨天病得好严重...整个人头昏眼花的...连走步路也似要晕倒似的...发烧到脸就像番茄一样，还蛮好笑的，哈哈。
噢，我也是昨天才发现原来星期天是没医生开门的！唔...想起来这应该算是我病得最严重的一次了吧...这句话从我口中说出来就不可轻视了哦...我可是医生的常客噢...哈哈哈！刚刚才去看了医生，烧已经退了，看来明天应该可以去上课了吧。 唉...偏偏要等到考试即将来临的时候我才来病，好不争气噢...

哭了

今天我哭了。 也有几个月没哭了吧...对我来说应该算是新的记录了...怎知， 今天终于破戒了...唉， 原因很傻，也许有些人会觉得这种事哪有人会哭的嘛? 简直就无聊透了...可是我想啊，说不定就是闷在心里太久了，所以今天终于发泄了出来。 其实也不算哭得很厉害罢了，只是眼泪就徐徐的滑下我的脸颊...心里有一种隐隐作痛的感觉。 加上我今天又病了...感觉还真不好受...
今天没去上课...病了真得很辛苦。

The art of procrastination

Sigh...midterm's gonna start soon. As in, REALLY soon. Now we're into our 4th week of the 2nd semester, and our midterm's supposed to start in the 6th week. And guess what? Our tutorials (which were supposed to start in the 2nd week) are postponed to the 7th week if I'm not mistaken. That means we'll have to sit for our midterm without even attending tutorials. Study ourself-loh...Dotz...Oh, did I mention why the tutorials were being postponed? "Lack of venues" ...or so they say... >.> If there are not enough venues, why chew off more then you can swallow in the first place??? Don't take in so many new students lah if there isn’t even enough space for the students to study in! Yor...
So, now I have no choice...have to try my very very best to try and understand all the lecture slides and do the tutorial works on my own if I don't wanna flunk my midterms...I can't can't CAN'T afford to flunk any subjects as I need all the marks I can get from course works (midterm's included in course works marks by the way) because I have a feeling this semester's final exams are going to be much tougher...since I'm already facing difficulties in my lecture classes...Takes a lot of effort just trying to stay awake in class >.<>.> Also, found a new friend cum counsellor cum entertainer cum rubbish bin member =D The mighty *cough*soh lo*cough* Phen~ Hehe...thanks for helping me solve my crappy problems! And teman-ing me when I'm bored too =p (And for whatever that I've forgotten to mention here...lolz)
Also, planning to take my undang^2 by this week. Itching to finally learn to drive and also because I have a carrot stick dangling in front of me. Hahaha...Hope I can pass it and successfully get my L license by the end of the month? Hmm...hopefully-lah~
Okay, probably should start downloading my lecture notes and print them out now. >.<" *shuffles away looking for papers*