He never fails to make me smile

Had a chat with an old friend today. Knew him since last year, while he was still a her to me.

Confused? xP

I actually thought he was a girl. After more than half a year of living under the impression that he was a girl, he finally told me he's actually a guy. Imagine the shock!

So anyway, he's only 15. And he's cute. As in personality-lah... Most importantly, he makes me smile.

Thanks reez. =)

Friends forever.



p/s: Oh and he wants me to tell you that he's handsome.

Me

Note: All images taken from Stickgirl's blog.



Fell in love



He has a girlfriend



Hug



Just friends



A fool

Melancolic

All good things must come to an end.
Cliché? Perhaps. But you can't deny that the statement is true.

As much as you might hate for it to end, it will end somehow. One way or another. It's no doubt a pity. But there's nothing we can do to stop it. Or is there?

Actually, I've been on an emotional roller coaster recently. One moment I'm feeling chirpy, the next, I'll be moody. Yes the mood change IS triggered by something, but sometimes, that something is so insignificant even I myself am wondering why on earth I would get upset over it. Alas, I still do. I am weak, I know.

If only I can find the secret to eternal happiness.

Someone wrote this to me when I was feeling like crap. I found it quite true. So I'm quoting her here. (Heh...hope you don't mind, LFF)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By putting on a facade (usually of indifference or happiness), we delude
ourselves into thinking that the problem isn't going to affect us adversely,
it is our security blanket that we placed over ourselves as a way to absorb
the shock of the impact of a certain situation and how we might react to
them.

In a way, it is good because you don't overreact immediately, instead, you
keep telling yourself that it isn't so bad and that it won't hurt, or, whatever you want to tell yourself, and deep down inside you, you know that that's not true, but you don't care because you'd rather delude yourself rather than allow yourself to fall. It cushions the impact, so to speak. It's called self denial.

The bad side about it is that as time passes, realization occurs. When you
suddenly realise that the event DID happen and that it WILL affect you
badly. That's when the brunt of the hurt comes from. All along you have been suppressing the hurt/anger/whatever under that blanket of security you put around yourself, but when the breaking point comes one fine day, it will flood all over you.

The good thing about this situation is that since you gave yourself time to
'delude' yourself initially, your emotions are currently in a more stable
state than previously, where everything was more unstable. Thus you would be able to cope with the surge of emotions more easily.Then when you're done with the mallet of reality hitting down upon your being, you stop your tears, dry your eyes and tell yourself: I have to move on/ solve this problem because I want to be happy.

And then, you move on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True?

Biatch

昨天淋了一场雨。
感觉，好舒服，好快乐...
好像所有的烦恼都可以被雨水冲走似的...
要不是待会还要上课的话，我真的很想就这样站在雨中，
把所有的不愉快都冲走...
可是，人生往往就不能如我所愿。

真的很讨厌很讨厌某种人...
那种，表面看来很好的人，看来很信得过，
在你面前永远都是个好人，
但当你转过身的时候，他却把你给背叛了...

曾经，我也遇过这样的人。
她，让我对这世界多了点提防，多了点怀疑，多了点保留，
也让我的眼光看得更宽，思想变得更成熟。
我很清楚被人背叛的滋味。
真的一点都不好受...
所以，我能了解给人背叛的那种痛。

当你把你心里的秘密都告诉给那个人听，
把信任都放在他身上的时候，
他，却背叛了你。
说真的，我真的很讨厌。
我，不是在帮任何人，
只是觉得这种行为很卑鄙，很无良...
信不信，
接受不接受我的看法，
由得你。

Untitled

Was feeling really down. Wondered if she did the right thing. Then, she went over to his profile and saw the 'reason' why she did all this. It suddenly reminded her why should she do this even though it hurts her inside.

She can't be with someone like this. One moment he says this to her, next moment, he might just turned his back on her and says exactly the same thing to the other person. You have no idea how much it sucks seeing that kinda thing. To her, I love you is a very special thing. It can't be said to two different people at the same time. It's supposed to be one and only. So she made up her mind, it's time to let go and move on with her life.

She can't do anything now since the damage is already done. For now, it's either friends, or strangers. It's really up to him. She is also tired. And she doesn't wanna see the other person's picture and feels as if someone is squeezing the air out of her again. It's really too much for her to handle. She fears a breakdown will happen.

For now, she's contented to live in her own carefully protected bubble and forget about all the rubbish that happened. That is, until someone comes along and burst that bubble. Then you shall see the 'tough as nail' her breakdown.

Hah...how interesting that would be.

痛

亲手毁掉的友情，真的很痛，很痛。
我这次，好像是做错了。
伤得某个人很重。
其实，心里一点都不好过...
表面看来，我好像一点都没事，比起他，我看来好像没什么两样。
死撑，真的就是我的强项。
心里虽然很难过，很辛苦，可是表面上，我和平时也没什不一样。
他，选择了连朋友都不可以做的地步。
而我，却在原地不知所措。
很辛苦，很辛苦。

死撑，是我的强项

晴天


故事的小黄花
从出生的那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在
吹着前奏望着天空的我
想起花瓣试着掉落
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍
每想到失去勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍
你会等待还是离开
刮风这天
我试过握着你手
但偏偏，雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久
我才能在你身边
等到放晴的那天
也许我会比较好一点
从前从前
有个人爱你很久
但偏偏风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易
又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后
你好像还是说了拜拜



一首很动听的歌...有点伤感，可是，这，不就是现实吗?

Confession

Note: As promised, I'll post my bikini photo tomorrow night. It will only be up for an hour before I take it down. So if you wanna see, try viewing my blog between 9-10pm tomorrow night.



I have a confession to make.


I'm upset.


Of myself. Of him. Of everything that happened between us.


I should never never have let what happened between us happen.


Can you let me go? Please? And go back to whoever that your heart belongs to.


I hate myself. And you probably should, too.

爱？

为什么每一次我以为我可以活得简单一点，少一点烦恼，少一点麻烦的时候，问题就会出现呢？

我真的觉得自己很脆弱，很无能...为什么就是少那么一点点的坚持？

也许我喜欢欺骗自己吧? 就算清楚明白事情不可能会有结果，心里面却还是在骗着自己。

有时我也不懂为什么自己会这么笨，为了一个这样的人，弄得自己真么难过，那么苦恼。

我问过自己，他，值得吗？ 虽然心里已有了答案，可是，还是与他在纠缠不清。

也许‘爱’这东西真的会让人盲目吧...可是说真的，我也不是很确定我和他之间算不算是爱。

爱...不是应该独一无二的吗？

我真的很迷茫...很迷茫...

Phew...

Managed to cross out another item on my wish list. I passed all my subjects in my mid-term test! =D Feels quite contented and happy. Though I barely passed my Marketing and Sociology. =.='' That's the consequences for not studying! Do not repeat my mistakes people! Guess I should be thankful that there are 2 writing subjects this semester though. They're kinda similar to English in a way, so that means a lazy bum like me can afford to slack for the 2 subjects. Heh...

I'm supposed to be doing my assignments right now, but feels kinda lazy and started blogging instead. -.-'' So much for not procrastinating huh? Just finished my Management, gonna start on my Writing for Mass Communication now. And then there's the dreaded Web Page Design. I can't design a web page! T.T Anyone care to give me a hand? Sobs...

On a lighter note, I finished my Harry Potter book several days ago. When I first got to know Harry Potter, he was still an innocent eleven-year-old boy who didn't have a clue of what awaits him in the magical world. Then as he grew older every year, I too, grew with him. It's hard to believe that seven years have gone by ever since I saw the first movie and subsequently got hooked on the series. When I first got the last book, I wanted to finish it as fast as I could. But as the end approaches, I wished that it would go on forever instead. I never knew that reading a book can be such an emotional roller coaster. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a lil on the emotional roller coaster thing, but still...it was with a heavy heart when I finally flipped the final page of the book. That's it, finished, the magic is gone, forever. Sigh!!! Still, I think that Harry Potter would live on in the hearts of the many potter-heads out there, including yours truly.



Farewell, Harry Potter.

I GOT IT!

Note: I didn't sleep at all on the 21st of July. Wonder if it's some new record for me. >.<"


For people who know me. They should know I love Harry Potter to death. I have every single frigging book and I've watched every Harry Potter movie at least twice. Thrice. Or maybe more. For people who don't know me, well, now you do. So 21st of July was kinda like a big deal to me. It was THE day the final book of the Harry Potter series is coming out in stores. The final piece to the puzzle that started 10years ago on a train.

Truth is, I've been a bookworm ever since I was a kid. Ask my grandma about the times she stood in Popular to stand guard over me as I squat on the floor reading books for hours on end. Once, she got fed up of standing in a bookstore as her granddaughter reads. So she ended up buying 10books at one go just so that she wouldn't have to endure the dreadful experience anymore. Boy, was she wrong. After a few more weeks, it's back to the bookstore for the both of us. =D

But I digress. Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows was on top my wishlist and a newly acquired friend (by newly I mean about 1month+) generously offered to try and get me the autographed book which were given out free of charge to the first three people who went to Kinokuniya on the 21st of January. So the slightly crazy fella really went off to KLCC and stayed there overnight to get the book for lil ol' me. And to think that he doesn't even read any of the Harry Potter books and has only watched the first Harry Potter way back in 2001. >.> (I guess he probably was the only fella there who has not a clue what the whole Harry Potter mania was about) I wonder if he lives in a cave these past few years or what. He says the titles are too long and confusing and he got the books and movies mixed up so he stopped watching them. =.=" Major sweat. Okay lah...since he got me the book, shall not say mean things about him anymore lah...Thanks alottttt for this (very) early Christmas prezzie ya! And thanks for completing my entire collection. =) Oh, he told me one of the interesting conversations he overheard at the KLCC park entrance where they were waiting for the guards to open the gate and let them (rush) in. It goes something like this:

Nerd (to companion): If I've magic, I would make myself invisible & so that the guards don't see me so I can line up first.

Phen (this sounds waaaay more logical): What the hell? If I can be invisible, steal the book and go home la. Still line up for what?!

Classic. That should justify my (intense) dislike for nerds.

So to the *cough*mighty*cough*Phen, thanks a lot and even though you didn't manage to get into the top 13 to qualify for the free books, still you forked out money to get it for me. Then you practically delivered it to my doorstep in the middle of the night just so I could read it asap. *Cherrie feels bad now*

Still, I was ecstatic to have the book. Thus, some camwhoring is definitely in order. Please please ignore the panda eyes. I do not have Photoshop and I would be too lazy to do edit every one of my pictures anyway. So yea, ignore em. Thank you very muchies.



Me found this. Outside my house. 11pm. Lols...



I got it! Finally! Mine! Muacks! <3



Me love Harry Potter. Too bad it's the last book. =(




Oooh...look at the quill. The book comes with a quill! I can write like Harry! (No wonder his words were fugly in the movie, you try writing with a feather and see!)




Oh look! Comes with a Christmas card as well. (Fine!>>) Ah Phen ar...now is only July lar... =.= Bo calender?



Heh heh...final book of my collection!
I love me Harry Potter book! Gonna read it tonight. I already look like a panda anyway. Bah...


Thanks again!

Happiness =)

Today finally realised...happiness is actually quite simple. For me at least.
Little things in life that makes me smile or feel happy =)

1. Starbucks
2. Funny show on tv
3. Friends trying to entertain me with jokes when I'm bored
4. Playing games
5. Sleeping in my room with the air-cond on full blast
6. Blasting my hi-fi set in my room
7. Sms-ing with friends
8. A hug
9. Cam-whoring
10. Shopping!
11. Reading a nice novel
12. Found something insightful while surfing the net
13. Receiving funny or meaningful emails
14. Blogging
15. Found a HOT guy walking on the street
16. Compliments
17. Hearing my favourite songs on radio
18. When I get my allowance
19. Fantastic movie
20. Internet connection not lagging

From now on, I'll try to remember this list whenever I'm not happy =) And of course, I hope I won't get bored of things so easily and have a little more perserverance in life. Not to procrastinate so much as well. Looking forward to adding more things to my list of happiness. =)

Just realised that I'm kinda heartless. I keep forgetting other people. Sigh...I have had people IM-ing me in Msn...then they start chatting with me, asking about my life, my uni and generally all about my stuff la...and there I was, sitting in front of my computer frowning at the screen, wondering who is that.
Gosh...you have no idea how bad I feel when they were happily enquiring about my life and then I asked, ' Erm...sorry. But who are you again? ' I seriously feel I'm a jack-ass for being that way. But I just couldn't recall who they are no matter how hard I try.
Hate being so blur...There seems to be alot of things that escaped my attention. I forget people, I forget incidents, I forget words that people say to me that are really important to them...I just forget alot of things. Maybe that's why some people like to take care of me? They just can't help it when they see such a blur case I guess...>.<

I'm sick again. I seem to fall sick every month...my mum says I can't cope with all the pressure haha...Still, I'm glad that I got pretty satisfying results for my public speaking presentation the other day. So, I've decided to make a list of things that I should be grateful for. Here goes:
1. I'm grateful that I got 47/50 for my public speaking presentation, although my hands kept shaking the entire time.
2. I'm grateful for the 6GB Mp3 player I got for my birthday, although it was 2 months late.
3. I'm grateful for passing my economics mid-term test.
4. I'm grateful for being able to sleep till 11.30am on a Saturday (I hardly get to do that anymore because Utar just love having extra classes on Saturdays).
5. I'm grateful that someone loves me.
6. I'm grateful for loving someone.
7. I'm grateful for being able to complain about my pounding head, my sore throat and my runny nose. Because that means I'm still alive.
8. I'm grateful for tissues. (Don't ask me why...just refer to no.7 and you'll get it)
9. I'm grateful for my friends who supported me whenever I was down.
10. I'm grateful for being able to live past my 18th birthday

Wow...it's been almost a year since I started this blog to crap about my daily mundane boring life~! Hahaha...time really flies doesn't it. Seriously, it's scary how fast my life is passing through...I haven even got time to stop and breathe and really think about my entire life.
Alot has happened in the past year, there has been mistakes, some I wished I didn't make...some I'm glad I did as it made me grow up a lil more and be clearer about myself and what I want in my life. Still, I miss my old friends. Miss the times we hung out together. Whether it was shopping, studying or simply guy-watching...it was a time when I can really be silly and not care too much about the world around me...even if it's just for a couple of hours.
But as people say...life goes on. As much as I still wish we could go back to old times when there weren't so much problems, truth is...people change. Some walk into your life and they walk out without leaving any impression or memory at all. Then there are some that you wouldn't be able to forget in your entire lifetime...these are the people that made you laugh, made you cry and offer a shoulder to lean on when you feel like the whole world is caving in. They are there in your darkest hours, offering words of comfort and a listening ear for you to pour your soul out. These are your true friends in life. And trust me, it's not everyday that you can find a person like that. Someone whom you know you can trust with your secrets and heartaches and happiness. If your lucky enough to meet one in your life, treasure that person.
Humans are far from perfect. However much we want to believe that we're perfect. The truth is, we're just not. And never will be. We spend fortunes trying to fix things that weren't even broken in the first place. We're always comparing ourselves with other people...always not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not famous enough, not perfect enough. We are too obsessed with all the petty things like money, looks and fame that we forgot the thing that really matter in life. Love. And I'm not just refering to boyfriend-girlfriend kind of love. It can be anything...love for your pet, love for your family, love for your dear friends... Love is what makes us whole. But we often forget that until it's much, much too late. We fail to appreciate the little things in life until they've slipped away from us. Then it hits us in the face just how much those little things mattered to us in the first place.